When The Devil Whispers “You’re Not Good Enough”.

It was my first large speaking engagement back in the ‘90s. Why I said yes was beyond me. I had never stood up in front of more than a handful of women at my Bible study or our church’s women’s retreat. Even then, I didn’t have to use a microphone. And now, five hundred expectant women were going to be staring me in the face. To top it all off, the theme was Unshakable Confidence in Christ. Laughable.

Two weeks before the event, I attended a luncheon where my mentor, Mary Marshall Young, was going to be sharing a short devotion. It was in a very prestigious part of town that I did not frequent. One of those gatherings where the women’s purses and shoes matched . . . I mean made out of the same material. I was so uncomfortable as I slid onto my toile-covered chair and placed my Walmart purse under the table. And where was Mary Marshall anyway? I wondered. Oh, my word, she waved at me from another table across the room and left me to swim in the mermaid-infested waters alone.

The other ladies at the table all knew each other and began bantering back and forth. One just about swooned as she said, “What did you think about the speaker at our church’s last women’s event? Wasn’t he wonderful?”

“Oh, yes,” her friend replied. “He was so powerfully anointed! One of the best speakers I have ever heard. What a testimony!”

“I cried all the way through his story,” another chimed in. “Oh, how God worked mightily in his family.”

“And then Pastor invited him to speak on Sunday morning! I don’t think we’ll ever have a speaker as good as that one again.”

They went on-and-on describing this amazing man of God with words like anointed, formidable, dynamic, electric, and articulate.

“Where do you ladies attend church?” I asked, trying to contribute to the conversation.

When they answered, my little tea sandwich lodged in my throat and my heart flip-flopped in my chest. This was the same church where I was booked to speak in two weeks! To these same women!

I never mentioned to the ladies that I was going to be the speaker for their next women’s night out, because at that moment, I wasn’t so sure I would be. I have no idea what Mary Marshal said in her devotion. All I wanted to do was grab my Walmart purse and escape the scene.

Lickety-split, I power-walked to my car as fast as I could without looking like I was running. With my face set like flint, I drove over to that church. All the while, Satan was whispering in my ear. “Who do you think you are, going to speak at that church? Did you hear the caliber of people they bring in? That man came all the way from across the country. You are just coming from across town. What could you possibly have to say to these women that would make any difference. If I were you, I’d bow out now before you embarrass yourself.”

And you know what? Even though I knew it was the devil, I believed him. After all, what he was saying made a lot more sense than the “My New Identity in Christ” list posted on my refrigerator door.

“Excuse me,” I asked the church receptionist. “I’d like to purchase a tape of the speaker you had for your last women’s event.”

“Oh sure, honey. He was really great.”

“Yes, I heard.”

“Here you go,” she said. “That will be five dollars.”

I went out to the car, popped the tape in the console, pressed play, and braced myself for an hour of power.

I heard nothing.

Pressed fast forward. Pressed play. There was nothing.

Flipped the tape over. Pressed play. There was nothing.

Pressed fast forward on side two. Pressed play. There was nothing.

The tape was blank.

Then God began speaking to my heart.

Sharon, you do not need to hear what my servant said to these people two weeks ago. The tape is blank because I do not want you to compare yourself to anyone else. It doesn’t matter what he said. I gave him a message. I will give you a message. I can speak through a prophet, I can speak through a fisherman, and I can speak through a donkey.

Who are you “performing” for, my child, them or Me? Do not compare yourself to anyone. You are my child and I am asking you to speak to an audience of One.

I didn’t bother getting my money back for the defective tape. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

So next time Satan taunted me with the words, “Who do you think you are?” here was my reply:

I am the bride of Christ.

I am a co-heir with Christ.

About Sharon Jaynes

Sharon Jaynes has been encouraging and equipping women through ministry for over twenty-five years. From the time she met Christ as a teenager, she fell in love with God’s Word and has had a passion to bring God’s truth to today’s woman. Through the years, she has taught various Bible Studies, served as a counselor at Charlotte Pregnancy Care, and mentored women from all walks of life. Her mission is to encourage, equip and empower women to walk in courage and confidence as they grasp their true identity as a child of God and a co-heir with Christ.

For ten years Sharon served as Vice President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and co-host for their daily radio feature. She is the author of 16 books with Harvest House Publishers, Waterbrook/Multnomah and Moody Publishers. Some of her titles include The Power of a Woman’s Words, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, I’m Not Good Enough and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves, and 5 Dreams of Every Woman. She has also written numerous magazine articles and devotions for publications such as Focus on the Family, Extraordinary Women, Decision, Crosswalk.com and In Touch. Sharon is a frequent guest on radio and television programs such as Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Focus on the Family, Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey, and Living the Life with Terry Meeuwsen of the 700 Club.

Besides her own books, she has also been a contributing author in many books such as Chicken Soup for the Sports Fan’s Soul, Stories for the Teens Heart, Stories for the Man’s Heart, and the Women’s Devotional Bible. Her books have been translated into several different languages including Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Korean.

Sharon makes her home in North Carolina with her husband, Steve. They have one grown son, Steven

This article is a repost from Girlfriends in God.  “Mary Esther Ruth” does not own nor is the publisher of this site. No copyright intended. For Inspirational Purposes Only. To find out more about Girlfriends in God please go to: http://girlfriendsingod.com  OR for more information on Sharon Jaynes please go to: www.sharonjaynes.com

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